Spindle Hill

I recently drove past my childhood home. I try not to. The memories are difficult, as are the visuals. When I moved back here 12 years ago I took a similar photo and sent it to my friend Nancy. Inscribed on the back was: "My Old Kentucky Home. Pray for me." This is a nicer picture. Notice the remnants of deflated xmas baubles on the lawn. It's March.

New Blog

I'm in a state of limbo awaiting my future. My license has not arrived. My house has not sold. I am waiting. This is not a good place to be. My only regret with Steve was that I spent too much time from him thinking of our future rather than concentrating on the present and being with him. He is no longer here and the future I envisioned has parted as well. A lesson learned, yet not fully and not completely. In order to stay this recurrent feeling of wanting to be anywhere else but here I have started another blog. This one silently documents the banality and richness of where I come from. Each post indicates a part of or complete street and the succession of buildings (or lack of) on the thoroughfare. Hopefully I won't finish this project before I leave, but if I do it will be a way for me to say goodbye to the minutia that has colored my life for the last 12 years.

http://waterburybystreet.blogspot.com/

Shepaug River, Roxbury

When I drive to visit my friends Barbara and Greg, I drive though Roxbury, a lovely, understated and expensive town in which to live. Sometimes I sit by the river while I contemplate life. Here, in Roxbury they tax you on the views from your house.

March 28, 2010

Here was one of the first abortion clinics in the country (1938). Across the street in City Hall, a member of the Board of Aldermen a few years ago proposed the city become an "Abortion-Free Zone."

Palm Sunday

I have a neighbor who places a hand painted sign on his front lawn in December that says, "Keep the Christ in Christmas." But I don't see a sign that says "Keep the East in Easter." He goes to church up the street where Father Looney gives communion. It's the church that plays "God Bless America" on its carillon at noon every week day. My neighbor has 13 adult children and they, with their brood come to his house after church. They are very large and loud. I once saw a few of them leap out of their car. While running down the sidewalk in front of my house, one member said to the other, "Quick! Let's get inside before all the donuts are gone."

A Dong

We then went for Vietnamese food in the Elmwood section of West Hartford and shopped at A Dong for some Asian food supplies. They have a ceramic section.

Plainville Indoor Flea Market

After the estate sale we drove up to Plainville and found this incredible antique kitchen vendor. The items and the arrangement by color amazed me. So did the sheer amount for sale.

Estate Sale!

My neighbors Buddy and Bob invited me this morning to go to the Woodbury Flea Market. It was 39 degrees. As we returned towards Waterbury, Bob saw a sign for an estate sale and we drove to it. It was a small ranch house on a country road. I walked through the house looking for anything of interest. Everything was strewn about, people were traipsing through the rooms, now nearly empty with faded old carpeting. I didn't find anything to buy and I waited for Bob and Buddy to finish their search. That's when a creeping, discomfort came over me. I realized all around me were someone's recent personal belongings. I felt like an intruder invading this house with all the others. Whose house was this? What happened that they had to relinquish all they owned? Did they lose it to bankruptcy? Dementia? Old age? Death? I didn't want to be inside any longer. I walked back to the car and waited for my friends, the cold air clearing my mind from the despair of this sad house. Bob returned with a broken clock he intends to repair and Buddy with a plant he saved.

Sleeping Giant

Like Tamaulpias in Marin County in California, Connecticut has Sleeping Giant, a silhouette of hills that appear like a giant sleeping human. Trails weave through the hills that make up the torso and head. At the top of the chest is this fire tower. The first time I came here I was 8, with my parents and grandmother as we hiked the trails.I've come here often over the years. Yesterday I took my friend Scott who had not experienced it before. The sky was grey but the temperature was mild. It was a pleasant day to get away from it all.

March 26, 2010

Sami and Monkey can be a handful. A handful of challenges. A handful of joy. A handful of energy. I have a monkey on my back.

Pre-Easter game

Willie Loman says...

“And then I went to Waterbury. Waterbury is a fine city. Big clock city, the famous Waterbury clock.”

- Arthur Miller, Death of a Salesman

self portrait as a bird photograph

Older single man very attarctive

Often I get bored with being alone and entertain myself. Now with my iPhone I can take photos of my face with better ease. Am I pretty, pretty?

Last year I went on-line to date. Out of all the men I encountered there was little interest. I did meet someone who said I was "quite attarctive." The typo stayed with me and unfortunately, he was not attarctive to me. In continued boredom I did set up a personal site on one of these virtual programs and used all the goofiest photos I had collected. It was titled "I Like Fish." There was a questionnaire that required a response, such as your favorite pastimes, ("go fishing or play fish"), types of food you like, ("fish"), favorite animal ("carp") and interests you are looking for in another person, ("someone who likes to fish or collect sand dollars"). You get the idea.

Eventually I met a man whom I found extremely attractive, witty with a sense of humor. Unfortunately his humor was different than mine. I once showed him my site. His mouth dropped. He looked at me aghast and asked me "why?" The next morning I found him in the living room staring at it in disbelief. He needed answers. I told him it was my way of amusing myself and it was an art piece. He could not grasp my explanation or sense of humor. After that day he would suggest I change my physical appearance, with questions such as "Can we put some foundation on your face?" or "Would you consider dying your eyebrows?" I refused and we eventually parted ways. The site is still open and now I forgot its address or what the password is. Fish Man is still out there and it doesn't matter. I can live with my faults and I love to make people laugh, especially myself.

I Like Fish

Fulton Park, Upper Pond

The third day of over 70 degree weather. The sun reflects on everything and cracks the air. The landscape is still brown and grey. It's too early for leaves to appear and absorb the intensity. It's dry and people are jittery. On my walk through Fulton Park today, the garbage multiplies; pizza boxes, condoms and children's toys floating in the ponds rapidly turning green from algae due to the early warmth and lack of rain. I find a plastic shopping bag and fill it with strewn garbage. I left the toy in the water. I liked the color combinations.

Dawn on the Vernal Equinox

Slogging through paperwork this morning I get a call from Dawn. "Let's have lunch!" I agree and she drives up from New Haven. I take her up to Marty's in Washington and we have a nice calm meal. The sun is out. It's 75 degrees Farenheit. We talk about our plans to get to the Bay Area, boys and love. We drive back past glistening streams and old farms, to my place where we talk about our experiences of caring for elders and the inevitable passing we will witness, the toll it's taken on our bodies and the magic it has brought to us.

March 20, 2010: Benrus Watch Company

Across from Waterbury Clock was Benrus. The entryway intrigues me in its decay.

First you see it, now you don't

"Attention shoppers: State law requires that all beer must be purchased and have left the store by eight o'clock."

Anytime you go into a supermarket here in Connecticut around 7:30 pm, you're bound to hear these words or something similar. Only beer is sold in supermarkets, wine and liquor in liquor or package stores. No alcohol can be purchased after 8:00 pm Monday through Saturday and all day Sunday. When I was a child no shopping was allowed on Sundays except for food essentials. At least that's changed. I guess we're progressing from the days of Puritanical law. But they've even changed beyond what they've created.

Lake Lillinonah

Oh yeah, they then named the lake that covers the waterfall that killed her in her honor.

Lover's Leap

My friend Scott and I went to Lover's Leap State Park today. It's called Lover's Leap because, according to legend, Princess Lillinonah, "canoed to her death over the Great Falls because her white lover did not return after visiting his people." He saw her floating in the water and leapt to his death in trying to save her. The falls are under 15 feet of water now that Connecticut Light and Power has built a dam down river. Who created this legend? Are the falls below this bridge that traverses the gorge? I think of Bobby Gentry's song, "Ode to Billy Joe." I never liked the song.

Francesca

Over the years in Connecticut I've made friends and lost many. One of the most positive experiences I've had here is meeting Francesca. Throughout Steve's illness she would lift our spirits with her joking and laughter. Afterward she and I became closer and she has become one of my mentors in my business. This is how I see her whenever I think of her.

apartment complex

Some of my friends from the Bay Area have visited and commented on how Waterbury reminded them of San Francisco, not because of this apartment complex but that both are very hilly and were built around the same time. When I sit in my bed I look out the bank of windows and see the city beyond. At night I like to pretend I'm on the West Coast.

Old Waterbury Clock headquarters

This old building is left abandoned, next to a renovated section of the factory now used as low-income housing. Waterbury Clock, through its subsidiary Ingersoll, made the first Mickey Mouse watches. Thousands of people throughout the 20th Century worked for the factories in and around Waterbury. When the company created glow-in-the-dark clock hands they used a paint that had radium in it. Women workers would moisten their paint-laced brushes between their lips. Many contracted illnesses and died. The retirement for an unskilled worker who spent 30 to 40 years in a local factory could be as low as $300 a month. Many of those who still survive and are able to, work bagging at Stop and Shop or other supermarkets to supplement their income.

sunset at Black Rock

This is the time of year that we have fabulous sunsets. On the way to visit my friend Mark in Bethlehem I experienced this view driving past Black Rock State Park. There, every August my parents would take me to my mother's shop picnic. We'd eat boiled corn, steak and potato salad. I'd get my cheeks pinched by my mother's friends until I had enough. Then I'd run up and down the hillside to and from Black Rock, a large promontory that overlooked the stream, the pond and all the people enjoying the hot dusty day.

Holyland USA

So much could be said about Holyland. What's left of it overlooks what was then Scovill factory and within the last ten years trees started growing on the hill. It was downwind of all the smokestacks. I surmise the heavy metals have disapated enough for them to grow again. An inspired man created the site in the last century and when I was a child there were pilgrimages up to it. There was a miniature Bethlehem, a concrete Pillar of Salt and the large cross that overlooked the city and glowed at night. But Holyland fell into disrepair, the entry now controlled by an order of nuns who refuse to allow people to walk through it. The last time I was there I found a chicken coop style structure covering a boulder that had two cracks in it. They were painted blue with labels for each. One was titled "Euphrates," the other "Tigres." Enclosed was a large plastic doll with rotting hair. A hand-painted sign tied around her neck said "Eve." The sign outside the shed informed me it was the "Garden of Eden." Even the neon "Holyland USA" sign has suffered. A few years back the "l" and "y" had gone out. As you drove on the highway at night it glowed "Ho land USA."

Cherry Avenue

Best Places
Oh, the Brass!
David K. Randall 03.13.08, 6:00 PM ET
Forbes Magazine dated April 07, 2008

Best Places For Business And Careers Best Smaller Metros By The Numbers:: Lowest Business Costs Lowest Cost Of Living Highest Education Levels Lowest Crime Rates Highest Job Growth Highest Income Growth Best Places:: Chattanooga, Tenn. Des Moines, Iowa Worst Places: Waterbury, Conn. Vote: What city is worth the high cost of living? No Thain, No Gain Cash Is King Dangerous Curves Best Places Complete Contents

To promote itself, a corrupt, has-been city reaches out--to a corrupt ex-governor.

Houston finds oil, Green Bay packs meat and Waterbury is famed for producing corruption. At least four mayors of this little (pop. 108,130) Connecticut city have been indicted for crimes committed while in office, the most recent two episodes involving Philip Giordano, in office from 1996 to 2001 and now serving 37 years for sex crimes (among other counts), and Joseph Santopietro, in office from 1986 to 1991, sentenced last year to five years' probation for a price-fixing conspiracy. In 1986 dead people were found to have voted in the Democratic gubernatorial primary.

Chicago and New Jersey have plenty of publicly elected convicts in their pasts, but these are big places. Pound for pound, Waterbury is really in a class of its own for government criminality. Combine that with abandoned factories, a rotten school system and a 20% poverty rate and you get a real package of reasons to stay clear. In this year's survey of Best Places in which to do business, Waterbury gets the booby prize.

Not so long ago this mill town on the Naugatuck River was an industrial powerhouse. Between 1850 and 1950 it grew to preeminence in brass manufacturing, accounting for most of the country's output. It made most of the ammunition casings fired by U.S. servicemen in WWII. Waterbury was also a center of clockmaking.

The profits from this rich manufacturing base financed rows of mansions in the Hillside neighborhood. The downtown sported an elegant train station with a 240-foot-tall campanile, designed by McKim, Mead & White.

What's left? A 29-square-mile junk pile. Timex is the biggest manufacturer still around. The city's largest employers--its two hospitals--are in ailing financial shape.

Turning things around presents a challenge. So in February Mayor Michael Jarjura (who hasn't been accused of anything) looked for the right man to be the public face of the Waterbury Development Corp. His choice: native son John G. Rowland, 50, who rose to prominence as Connecticut's governor from 1995 to 2004. Rowland was newly available, having served a prison term for fraud. His ankle bracelet came off in 2006.

In his new position Rowland will get $95,000 a year for trying to persuade existing employers to expand and others to relocate here. Dressed in a collared shirt and Izod sweater, the jaunty 6-footer takes forbes on a tour and explains that businesses will be drawn by the affordable real estate. But of course. Some 150 vacant structures dot the city, and that excludes commercial buildings downtown that have tenants on their street floor but, above, boarded-up windows.

Is the city's bad reputation going to be a problem? No, says the ex-gov: "People's memories only last about six months." Or else people just don't mind a little honest graft. The owner of a restaurant tells Rowland that his meal is on the house. The owner of a clothing store sees him eyeing a suit and says that he can provide a really good deal on it. "What do you think looks better?" Rowland asks. "Green or brown?"

Timexpo

Contained in the only part of Scovill Manufacturing's factory plant is the Timex Museum, "Timexpo." Timex is a local business, the current corporate version of The Waterbury Clock Company and the various other clock companies it gobbled up in the last 100 years. I've not been in the museum and don't know anyone who has. Scovill is best known for its subsidiary, Hamilton Beach and its last CEO, Malcolm Bainbridge who became Secretary of Commerce in Reagan's cabinet. What is left of the plant you see before you. The remainder has been paved over and made into a mall and shopping center, both with many empty store fronts. I was told the then CEO of Timex was an avid admirer of Thor Hyerdal, thus the Easter Island replica in styrofoam and concrete. It abuts the interstate that runs over the city. To the west, across the interstate and on Abrigador Hill are the ruins of Holyland, USA, what was one of the largest pieces of outsider art in the country.

Mr Happy's

Waterbury has two strip clubs, both on the same street: Mr. Happy's and Peek-a-Boos. Both are as pretty as can be on the outside. Someone I once knew called penises "mr. happy's." There are many residents of Irish extraction here. Erin go bragh!

Willow Street

Waterbury is a place lost in time. There has been no gentrification. No hipsters, no bohos live here. It is an architectural gem preserved and rotting away from neglect by business, politicians and the middle class, who have turned up their collective noses at the city by moving out to suburbia and into poisonous gas-emitting houses.

March 11, 2010

This morning I watched an excerpt from a German video where a young girl identifies Star Wars character dolls by putting them in her mouth, using her tongue, with her eyes closed.

A shining example

In the middle of town, in front of what used to be the train station is a statue dedicated to Father McGivney, creator and founder of The Knights of Columbus, now headquartered in New Haven. I drive by this statue every day and each time I am forced to be reminded of what they represent. The Knights, besides wearing silly costumes are also an arm of the Catholic Church that donates millions to anti-gay and anti-women's rights political campaigns.

Blackie's is open for the season

Another landmark of Waterbury. I have not gone in. It would be hard for me with such a name. But then I went to high school with two cousins the same age and with the same name of Michael. There was Michael Feola-the-Redhead and Michael Feola (who had dark hair). Why it wasn't the other way around, I don't know. I guess Michael Feola-the-Blackhead would have other connotations than his hair color. They say they make good relish here.

my neighbor's house

A mansion in the neighborhood housed a very aged woman for years. Steve and I would see her at the window, watching what she could of the world go by. She eventually died and a young couple bought it a few years ago. They renovated the kitchen, repaired the slate roof and added new copper gutters. They also cut down the three 100 year old pines that shaded the street because they didn't like them. When Steve was recovering from his first surgery and mis-prescribed drug intake, we would slowly walk down to the corner and sit under them, refreshed in the coolness of their shade, and listen to the breeze flow through their boughs.

Unfortunately, as I was told, the husband was caught cheating on his wife and she left him. He eventually moved and the house now sits abandoned, barren and in foreclosure, another victim of neglect.

Washington, Connecticut

I came about this private park, open to the public, when I was 16. Since then I have walked and hiked its many trails. It is a place of refuge and meditation, a site where I have brought friends and lovers. As a teenager I used to swim in the river. As an adult I have sat in it on those hot sticky summer days we have in late June and early July. It was here in January where I brought Steve on one of our first dates. We would often return. It was the only place tolerable in that eventful summer when his cancer returned. We would sit silently by the banks of the river and listen to it sing, dazzled by its beauty. I come here often to hike and take in the joy of the splendor around me. I love to watch the advent of the coming season each month. In January it is dark, cold and grey. In February the ice is blue. In March, the icicle stalactites slowly melt and the rocks bleed with water. Until very recently there were very few visitors and I had the place to myself. But now the visitor population has significantly increased and it is very near time to relinquish this marvelous place to them.

March 5, 2010

When I grew up in this part of the state, an interracial marriage was a person of Italian descent and the other Irish. Here is their progeny and now only $4.99 at Stop and Shop.